This post comes from my father-in-law Bob Willman
Liz was aware that Robbie and his best friend had been bickering for the past two weeks. Both she and Daniel's mother had to intercede on several occasions. After the Easter break, Robbie was seen away from the other children, during recess. The principal, being aware that a pedophile had recently been released to a halfway house near the community, was concerned about Robbie being alone and approached him. As she approached she could see Robbie speaking. "Who are you speaking to Robbie?" she asked. "God" was his answer. "I am not getting along well with Daniel and I am asking for God's help." The principal was moved to tears when she advised the boy's teacher. Later that afternoon when Lizzie went to pick up her son the principal overheard Robbie's teacher briefing Liz. "Wait that's my story" and the principal started at the beginning. Liz said that it was an emotional story as this was the first time, in a career of occasions, that a student was seen speaking to God.
May you all be so blessed.
bOb
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
The paradox of Life
The paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more, but have less;
we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we’ve added years to life, not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less;
we plan more, but accomplish less.
We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait;
we have higher incomes, but lower morals;
we have more food, but less appeasement;
we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion;
tall men, and short character;
steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure, but less fun;
more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom;
a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete…
By Dr. Bob Moorehead
taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints;
we spend more, but have less;
we buy more, but enjoy it less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time;
we have more degrees, but less sense;
more knowledge, but less judgment;
more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we’ve added years to life, not life to years.
We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space;
we’ve done larger things, but not better things.
We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul;
we’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less;
we plan more, but accomplish less.
We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait;
we have higher incomes, but lower morals;
we have more food, but less appeasement;
we build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication;
we’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion;
tall men, and short character;
steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare;
more leisure, but less fun;
more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom;
a time when technology has brought this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to make a difference, or to just hit delete…
By Dr. Bob Moorehead
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Are you a good parent or bad one?
Parenting is one of those things that is not easy. No matter what you do, you always wonder if you did the right thing. There's no magic formula to parenting. It's not like math where 1 + 1 = 2. Someone once said to me it's like a rollercoaster - you'll have your ups and downs but it's a thrill no matter what. Sometimes you can do the right things but get the wrong results and sometimes you can be surprised and get good results with little to no effort.
I've been reading and watching some of Larry Winget's materials and I thought I would share with you his "Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent."
If you don’t know where your child is right now,
you are a bad parent.
If your child is obese,
you are a bad parent.
If your child has a television in their bedroom,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t know your child’s friends,
you are a bad parent.
If you tolerate disrespect from your child verbally or physically, you are a bad parent.
If you promise consequences for either good behavior or bad behavior and don’t deliver, you are a bad parent.
If you don’t teach your child about money,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t have open, honest communication with your child about sex; the dangers, consequences and joy of it,
you are a bad parent.
If your grown child still lives at home and mooches off you,
you are a bad parent.
If your own life is an example of what you don’t want your child to grow up and become, you are a bad parent.
Larry is the author of "Your Kids are Your Own Fault." He is blunt, honest and a straight shooter. He finishes off by saying "Some of you are now spewing and sputtering and shouting “yeah but” at me because your kids are great yet they have a TV in their room or are overweight or blah, blah, blah-de-blah-de-blah! Okay, you can tell yourself that, and since I don’t know you or your kid I’ll step back and give you the benefit of the doubt. But I still don’t believe you. Just because you don’t see the harmful results of your action or inaction today, doesn’t mean that you won’t later."
What are your signs of a good or bad parent?
I've been reading and watching some of Larry Winget's materials and I thought I would share with you his "Ten Signs You Are A Bad Parent."
If you don’t know where your child is right now,
you are a bad parent.
If your child is obese,
you are a bad parent.
If your child has a television in their bedroom,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t know your child’s friends,
you are a bad parent.
If you tolerate disrespect from your child verbally or physically, you are a bad parent.
If you promise consequences for either good behavior or bad behavior and don’t deliver, you are a bad parent.
If you don’t teach your child about money,
you are a bad parent.
If you don’t have open, honest communication with your child about sex; the dangers, consequences and joy of it,
you are a bad parent.
If your grown child still lives at home and mooches off you,
you are a bad parent.
If your own life is an example of what you don’t want your child to grow up and become, you are a bad parent.
Larry is the author of "Your Kids are Your Own Fault." He is blunt, honest and a straight shooter. He finishes off by saying "Some of you are now spewing and sputtering and shouting “yeah but” at me because your kids are great yet they have a TV in their room or are overweight or blah, blah, blah-de-blah-de-blah! Okay, you can tell yourself that, and since I don’t know you or your kid I’ll step back and give you the benefit of the doubt. But I still don’t believe you. Just because you don’t see the harmful results of your action or inaction today, doesn’t mean that you won’t later."
What are your signs of a good or bad parent?
Friday, March 19, 2010
Find your passion with light bulb moments
(originally posted in 2007)
Do you know what a light bulb moment is? For me, light bulb moments are ‘AH HA’ moments in life. These are moments when that light goes on in your head and you say to yourself “Wow, that makes a lot of sense”.
Journal your light bulb moments
Light bulb moments happen all the time. For some, many times in a day. As a result, light bulb moments also come and go. Because we can’t remember everything, it is so important to write down great ideas and great moments when they happen. I call this journaling. In fact, I have journalled my light bulb moments all my adult life. If these are important moments in my life where the lights come on, I make sure I write them down. I carry around my journal everywhere I go.
I think it is so important you keep your light bulb moments in the same place. Often I see people writing notes using the pads or pieces of scrap paper but 9 times out of 10, they get lost and all those light bulb moments get lost with them. Never lose your light bulb moments.
Unless you have a system to diarize and keep your light bulb moments, you won’t be able to remember, recover or respond to these special times. That’s why journaling is so important.
Use light bulb moments to find your passion
How do light bulb moments relate to passion? Some light bulb moments are really bright. Some light bulb moments touch the heart. Some light bulb moments are really special. Some light bulb moments make you come alive. I believe these light bulb moments form the foundation for passion.
People with passion set themselves apart. You can usually tell in the first 5 minutes of a conversation if someone has passion for what they do. If you find your passions, life is great! If you have not found your passions, keep journaling your light bulb moments. You will find it!
My suggestion is to go through your journals from time to time. You will be amazed at what you find. I have done this many times in my life and you will find recurring patterns that help you see things and ideas that you are naturally drawn to.
Great things can happen with these light bulb moments. For example, in 1998, I was reviewing some of my old notes and came across a lightbulb moment that I should write a book. The note said we all have a story to tell, we all have a book in us, just start writing. Because of that note, I published my first book Mutual Fundamentals which became a best seller. This was the start of discovering my passion to write and educate others which I continue today.
Why is it important to have passion?
One of my favorite stories about passion involves Barbara Streisand at the Golden Globe Awards. A gentleman asked Streisand if he should be an actor. Barbara Streisand responded “If you have to ask the question, then the answer is no. You know you have passion when you don’t have to ask.”
The bottom line is passion fuels the soul. Passion creates purpose and meaning. Passion makes time go by faster. People with passion have the sparkle in their eyes and seem to not only control their destiny but do it effortlessly. Passion helps create vision. It’s no wonder people with passion have a clearer vision of the future. The clearer you see the future, the more likely you are to achieve it. Passion not only helps with vision but it helps design plans to make things happen.
At the end of the day, I think passion is like love. You know you found it once you find it. Until you find it, you really don’t know what it feels like to have real passion. Once you find passion, you hate to lose it.
For me, had a passion for personal finance. I loved learning about it. I still love it. I still learn each and every day. For those who know me, they knew I had a passion for my business and a passion to help others. Unfortunately for me, I eventually stopped enjoying my business. As a typical entrepreneur, I enjoyed my business when it was small and growing. Once it got too big, the scope of my work began to change and I lost my passion. Eventually, losing my passion for the work, was the catalyst to selling the business. One way you know you have passion, is when you lose it, you can’t help but do something about it. For me, my passion changed and happiness overruled cashflow. It is scary to sell off a secure cashflow but I can tell you this has been an amazing year. I wake up with my kids. We have breakfast every morning. I don’t miss their gymnastics, skating, swimming, etc. I’m proud and passionate about being a dad.
Do you know what a light bulb moment is? For me, light bulb moments are ‘AH HA’ moments in life. These are moments when that light goes on in your head and you say to yourself “Wow, that makes a lot of sense”.
Journal your light bulb moments
Light bulb moments happen all the time. For some, many times in a day. As a result, light bulb moments also come and go. Because we can’t remember everything, it is so important to write down great ideas and great moments when they happen. I call this journaling. In fact, I have journalled my light bulb moments all my adult life. If these are important moments in my life where the lights come on, I make sure I write them down. I carry around my journal everywhere I go.
I think it is so important you keep your light bulb moments in the same place. Often I see people writing notes using the pads or pieces of scrap paper but 9 times out of 10, they get lost and all those light bulb moments get lost with them. Never lose your light bulb moments.
Unless you have a system to diarize and keep your light bulb moments, you won’t be able to remember, recover or respond to these special times. That’s why journaling is so important.
Use light bulb moments to find your passion
How do light bulb moments relate to passion? Some light bulb moments are really bright. Some light bulb moments touch the heart. Some light bulb moments are really special. Some light bulb moments make you come alive. I believe these light bulb moments form the foundation for passion.
People with passion set themselves apart. You can usually tell in the first 5 minutes of a conversation if someone has passion for what they do. If you find your passions, life is great! If you have not found your passions, keep journaling your light bulb moments. You will find it!
My suggestion is to go through your journals from time to time. You will be amazed at what you find. I have done this many times in my life and you will find recurring patterns that help you see things and ideas that you are naturally drawn to.
Great things can happen with these light bulb moments. For example, in 1998, I was reviewing some of my old notes and came across a lightbulb moment that I should write a book. The note said we all have a story to tell, we all have a book in us, just start writing. Because of that note, I published my first book Mutual Fundamentals which became a best seller. This was the start of discovering my passion to write and educate others which I continue today.
Why is it important to have passion?
One of my favorite stories about passion involves Barbara Streisand at the Golden Globe Awards. A gentleman asked Streisand if he should be an actor. Barbara Streisand responded “If you have to ask the question, then the answer is no. You know you have passion when you don’t have to ask.”
The bottom line is passion fuels the soul. Passion creates purpose and meaning. Passion makes time go by faster. People with passion have the sparkle in their eyes and seem to not only control their destiny but do it effortlessly. Passion helps create vision. It’s no wonder people with passion have a clearer vision of the future. The clearer you see the future, the more likely you are to achieve it. Passion not only helps with vision but it helps design plans to make things happen.
At the end of the day, I think passion is like love. You know you found it once you find it. Until you find it, you really don’t know what it feels like to have real passion. Once you find passion, you hate to lose it.
For me, had a passion for personal finance. I loved learning about it. I still love it. I still learn each and every day. For those who know me, they knew I had a passion for my business and a passion to help others. Unfortunately for me, I eventually stopped enjoying my business. As a typical entrepreneur, I enjoyed my business when it was small and growing. Once it got too big, the scope of my work began to change and I lost my passion. Eventually, losing my passion for the work, was the catalyst to selling the business. One way you know you have passion, is when you lose it, you can’t help but do something about it. For me, my passion changed and happiness overruled cashflow. It is scary to sell off a secure cashflow but I can tell you this has been an amazing year. I wake up with my kids. We have breakfast every morning. I don’t miss their gymnastics, skating, swimming, etc. I’m proud and passionate about being a dad.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
My date night with Liz
My date night with Liz
So last night I had a date night with Liz. With four kids and busy lives, it’s not easy planning a date night.
So what did we do? A romantic dinner out? A movie? Some much needed cuddle time? Well let me tell you . . .
First we met at the mall after Liz got a pedicure. That’s a great start! Then we had our romantic dinner together . . . in the food court! During dinner we had some great conversation . . . we planned Jason’s birthday party, what was happening at Easter and discussed some ideas for the summer.
After dinner, we shopped . . . for Jason’s birthday, Easter, and some much needed clothing for the kids.
The night ended with some coffee and desert . . . at McDonalds. I highly recommend McDonald’s coffee. It’s awesome and until March 14th it’s FREE. Yes, completely free. Liz and I go everyday. I must admit I feel a little guilty so I often buy a muffin for $1. If you’ve never tried their coffee, you gotta try it!
Anyhow, some might look at this ‘date night’ as a date that lacks the qualities of a romantic couple in love but I will argue differently. Our evening had lots of great qualities:
1. Communication – we talked all night. We talked about practical things. We talked about each other. We talked about the future. We talked about silly things. And we talked about some really important and deep things.
2. PDA (Public displays of affection). No we did not make out in the food court but we held hands, hugged and just enjoyed each other’s company. That’s not easy to do when you have 4 kids with you so despite the stereotypical ambiance required for romance, we made the best of what we had.
3. Humor and fun. One of the things I love about Liz is we can have fun anywhere doing anything. I feel like I have been on our kids a lot lately so it was nice not having to discipline, break up fights or discuss the important qualities of good kid behaviors. Liz and I laughed and giggled and just had fun.
4. Food. Ok, so it wasn’t 5 star quality but it also wasn’t 5 star price. I’m OK with my frugality and cheapness. I guess that’s part of my business. I’m proud that I only spent $1.04 on dessert and coffee and still had as good of a time if I spent $30 on dessert and coffee.
In the end, I think the success of our date night lies in the company. I feel like I could do anything with Liz and have fun. It may not be the ideal date night but it sure felt good to get things done, talk with my best friend and have an evening without the kids.
So last night I had a date night with Liz. With four kids and busy lives, it’s not easy planning a date night.
So what did we do? A romantic dinner out? A movie? Some much needed cuddle time? Well let me tell you . . .
First we met at the mall after Liz got a pedicure. That’s a great start! Then we had our romantic dinner together . . . in the food court! During dinner we had some great conversation . . . we planned Jason’s birthday party, what was happening at Easter and discussed some ideas for the summer.
After dinner, we shopped . . . for Jason’s birthday, Easter, and some much needed clothing for the kids.
The night ended with some coffee and desert . . . at McDonalds. I highly recommend McDonald’s coffee. It’s awesome and until March 14th it’s FREE. Yes, completely free. Liz and I go everyday. I must admit I feel a little guilty so I often buy a muffin for $1. If you’ve never tried their coffee, you gotta try it!
Anyhow, some might look at this ‘date night’ as a date that lacks the qualities of a romantic couple in love but I will argue differently. Our evening had lots of great qualities:
1. Communication – we talked all night. We talked about practical things. We talked about each other. We talked about the future. We talked about silly things. And we talked about some really important and deep things.
2. PDA (Public displays of affection). No we did not make out in the food court but we held hands, hugged and just enjoyed each other’s company. That’s not easy to do when you have 4 kids with you so despite the stereotypical ambiance required for romance, we made the best of what we had.
3. Humor and fun. One of the things I love about Liz is we can have fun anywhere doing anything. I feel like I have been on our kids a lot lately so it was nice not having to discipline, break up fights or discuss the important qualities of good kid behaviors. Liz and I laughed and giggled and just had fun.
4. Food. Ok, so it wasn’t 5 star quality but it also wasn’t 5 star price. I’m OK with my frugality and cheapness. I guess that’s part of my business. I’m proud that I only spent $1.04 on dessert and coffee and still had as good of a time if I spent $30 on dessert and coffee.
In the end, I think the success of our date night lies in the company. I feel like I could do anything with Liz and have fun. It may not be the ideal date night but it sure felt good to get things done, talk with my best friend and have an evening without the kids.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
A story about humanity and caring
My little Robbie is not only great at sports but he is also so competitive. My 79 year old dad who is now on the internet sends me emails from time to time but this story (whether it is true or not) is a great story to pass on to my kids. It's about a Father and his son who has both physical and mental disabilites. the story is told by the father:
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the
plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.
I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'
Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.
In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.
In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.
Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.
At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?
Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.
However, as Shay stepped up to the
plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.
The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.
The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.
As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.
The game would now be over.
The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.
Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.
Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.
Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!
Run to first!'
Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.
He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.
Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'
Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.
B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.
He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.
Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.
All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!
Shay, run to third!'
As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'
Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team
'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.
Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!
The terrible twos
Jason, my third child is one of the cutest kids on earth. I know I am biased but I have had some seriously cute kids (obviously from Liz's genes). That being said, Jason was and is really really really cute!
But lately, his cuteness has been overshadowed by his whining, crying and temper tantrums. We just came back from Canmore for a few days with another family and I'm sure they will never invite us again . . . or at least Jason. These are tough times for a parent and every time he goes through his tantrums, I go through this same speech:
"Jason, remember good boys don't act this way. What do good boys do?"
Jason knows the words - "They listen, they share, they use their words and they be nice to others."
Unfortunately knowing the words and living by them are two different things right now.
Anyhow, I know that Jason is only two and he will grow through it. All of my kids have gone through some tough stages and as a parent, I know that I just have to keep supporting him, teaching him and sometimes showing him the consequences of bad behavior. Did your kids go through the terrible twos? Did they grow out of it? How did you deal with it? What advice would you give to other parents on how to deal with the terrible twos?
Despite his tantrums, I still would not trade him in for anything. For every tantrum, there are 10 moments where he makes me laugh or smile. For every tantrum, there is a special moment of love where we bond as a father and son. For every tough moment, there reasons to be thankful. Ok my therapy is over!!!
But lately, his cuteness has been overshadowed by his whining, crying and temper tantrums. We just came back from Canmore for a few days with another family and I'm sure they will never invite us again . . . or at least Jason. These are tough times for a parent and every time he goes through his tantrums, I go through this same speech:
"Jason, remember good boys don't act this way. What do good boys do?"
Jason knows the words - "They listen, they share, they use their words and they be nice to others."
Unfortunately knowing the words and living by them are two different things right now.
Anyhow, I know that Jason is only two and he will grow through it. All of my kids have gone through some tough stages and as a parent, I know that I just have to keep supporting him, teaching him and sometimes showing him the consequences of bad behavior. Did your kids go through the terrible twos? Did they grow out of it? How did you deal with it? What advice would you give to other parents on how to deal with the terrible twos?
Despite his tantrums, I still would not trade him in for anything. For every tantrum, there are 10 moments where he makes me laugh or smile. For every tantrum, there is a special moment of love where we bond as a father and son. For every tough moment, there reasons to be thankful. Ok my therapy is over!!!
How much of your future comes from destiny?
I just had a short conversation with my friend Kim Kelley and she always makes me think. We talked about luck and destiny and how much of that impacted our past, present and future.
I've thought about this lots in my life and I am a real believer that although destiny and luck have a place in this world, we cannot rely on them to determine our fate. I believe that we have the power and ability to create our destiny and future. I think destiny and luck can often be an excuse for laziness. I believe hard work creates good luck and I want my kids to know that success, happiness, relationships, money and everything comes from what you give. There is no substitution for effort, participation, engagement, discipline, motivation and awareness. I think part of this message is captured in the Nike Commercial Force Fate.
Now, I am not so naive to think that destiny and luck don't have a place in this world. I've said to Liz many times that she has given me more belief in destiny and fate than ever. I am truly thankful for that. I know that I was lucky to be born in Canada instead of Ethiopia. I know that I am lucky to have always had a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes to keep me warm. Destiny and luck have a place but at the same time we are all born with some hurdles and deficiencies and some 'bad luck'. Part of it is how you choose to deal with those circumstances. It is your choice on how you deal with ALL circumstances.
We recently had a friend who got hit by a car. She is alive but with broken bones and lots of bruises. This is pretty bad luck but her husband says he is the luckiest man on earth and together they take steps to get through this 'unlucky' situation. Their attitude is amazing. Their choices are influenced by their attitudes.
We all make choices every single day. Every choice you make shapes your life. Is your choice influenced by destiny or luck? Of are your choices consciously or unconsciously made? What do you think about destiny? How much of your life do you think is determined by destiny and how much is determined by the choices you make?
p.s. Thanks to Kim for giving me something awesome to blog about. Thanks to Liz for giving me faith in destiny.
I've thought about this lots in my life and I am a real believer that although destiny and luck have a place in this world, we cannot rely on them to determine our fate. I believe that we have the power and ability to create our destiny and future. I think destiny and luck can often be an excuse for laziness. I believe hard work creates good luck and I want my kids to know that success, happiness, relationships, money and everything comes from what you give. There is no substitution for effort, participation, engagement, discipline, motivation and awareness. I think part of this message is captured in the Nike Commercial Force Fate.
Now, I am not so naive to think that destiny and luck don't have a place in this world. I've said to Liz many times that she has given me more belief in destiny and fate than ever. I am truly thankful for that. I know that I was lucky to be born in Canada instead of Ethiopia. I know that I am lucky to have always had a roof over my head, food on the table and clothes to keep me warm. Destiny and luck have a place but at the same time we are all born with some hurdles and deficiencies and some 'bad luck'. Part of it is how you choose to deal with those circumstances. It is your choice on how you deal with ALL circumstances.
We recently had a friend who got hit by a car. She is alive but with broken bones and lots of bruises. This is pretty bad luck but her husband says he is the luckiest man on earth and together they take steps to get through this 'unlucky' situation. Their attitude is amazing. Their choices are influenced by their attitudes.
We all make choices every single day. Every choice you make shapes your life. Is your choice influenced by destiny or luck? Of are your choices consciously or unconsciously made? What do you think about destiny? How much of your life do you think is determined by destiny and how much is determined by the choices you make?
p.s. Thanks to Kim for giving me something awesome to blog about. Thanks to Liz for giving me faith in destiny.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Olympics reminds us about passion and legacy
Passions create legacy
As I watch the 2010 Olympics, I find my jaw drops at how amazing these athletes are in their craft. I was doing my usual surfing and found a blog that was somewhat critical about the sacrifices it takes to become the best and whether it is worth sacrificing friends and family to pursue the Olympic dream. They asked some questions which I thought I would share my answers.
How much time and training goes into becoming the best?
I guess that’s where passion has to come into play. How can you spend that much time if you don’t love what you do? How many people are spending a lot of time doing things they don’t love to do? I think there is a lesson here work may not appear to be work it you are doing what you love.
Our world today is big on balance. Seeking balance also has it’s own set of sacrifices. Sometimes I think ‘balance’ is a cope out for laziness. This may be a little extreme but we need to encourage hard work, especially when our society has developed a sense of entitlement.
There’s an old saying “Work Smarter, not harder” which was born from the time management industry. I think there may be a place for this saying but I believe that the more appropriate saying should be “Work Smarter AND harder.” I’ve had the pleasure of meeting successful people and they will all tell you that their success came from hard work. I believe you get out what you put in and these athletes should be proud of their sacrifices.
Is there really such thing as the best?
When I watch the downhill skiers, snow borders or speed skaters, and look at the difference between 1st and 6th, the difference is a fraction of effort but it is the difference between a medal and no medal at all.
When you look at 20 competitors, these people are the ‘Best’ in their field but only 1 can the best at the moment. Some feel bad for the person that comes in fourth or just misses the gold by a fraction. I think the person that comes in fourth needs to relish in his or her accomplishment even though they did not get a medal. I am about competition but I think there is something about the journey. Just getting to the Olympics is a feat in itself.
Is training for the Olympics too much of a sacrifice?
I think it is a ridiculous question. These people make choices and this choice is to create a memory or experience that will last a lifetime.
When I look at these Olympians, my jaw drops in awe at the commitment and work ethic it takes to get there. I think we should celebrate their accomplishments and encourage people to follow their passions in life. If you love what you do, it is easy to spend time working hard at it. In fact, it may not feel like work when it is their passion.
The way I look at it, is these athletes have started the process of writing their own legacy. Being a strong advocate of creating, diarizing and sharing personal life legacies (www.MyLegacyOrganizer.com), I can’t think of a better way to spend your time. Add in the lessons of hard work, dedication, and motivation and I think you have a sure fire formula for future success.
A parent’s perspective
If my kids ever decided to compete at a really high level I am going to encourage them and help them follow their passions and create their life legacy. I want my kids to know that I support following their passions.
If my kids have the drive, passion, talent or ability to become great at anything, I will encourage them and be supportive in their endeavors. How proud would I be if my son’s competed in a future Olympics even if they came in fourth? That journey and experience is invaluable and is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of life and I believe the experience will make him a better person.
If we relate this back to money (because that’s what I do for a living) . . . In my own life, I made big time sacrifices early and worked really hard to create the business. I saved money and made some fantastic financial choices (thanks to my profession). It is those sacrifices that give me choices and my current ability to work part time as a parent of four boys and afford a good lifestyle. I think encouraging people to work harder and become better is a good thing. I think we need to encourage people to find their passions in life. As a parent, these are things I want to encourage my four boys strive for. I want my boys to always try their best as opposed to have to be the best.
As I watch the 2010 Olympics, I find my jaw drops at how amazing these athletes are in their craft. I was doing my usual surfing and found a blog that was somewhat critical about the sacrifices it takes to become the best and whether it is worth sacrificing friends and family to pursue the Olympic dream. They asked some questions which I thought I would share my answers.
How much time and training goes into becoming the best?
I guess that’s where passion has to come into play. How can you spend that much time if you don’t love what you do? How many people are spending a lot of time doing things they don’t love to do? I think there is a lesson here work may not appear to be work it you are doing what you love.
Our world today is big on balance. Seeking balance also has it’s own set of sacrifices. Sometimes I think ‘balance’ is a cope out for laziness. This may be a little extreme but we need to encourage hard work, especially when our society has developed a sense of entitlement.
There’s an old saying “Work Smarter, not harder” which was born from the time management industry. I think there may be a place for this saying but I believe that the more appropriate saying should be “Work Smarter AND harder.” I’ve had the pleasure of meeting successful people and they will all tell you that their success came from hard work. I believe you get out what you put in and these athletes should be proud of their sacrifices.
Is there really such thing as the best?
When I watch the downhill skiers, snow borders or speed skaters, and look at the difference between 1st and 6th, the difference is a fraction of effort but it is the difference between a medal and no medal at all.
When you look at 20 competitors, these people are the ‘Best’ in their field but only 1 can the best at the moment. Some feel bad for the person that comes in fourth or just misses the gold by a fraction. I think the person that comes in fourth needs to relish in his or her accomplishment even though they did not get a medal. I am about competition but I think there is something about the journey. Just getting to the Olympics is a feat in itself.
Is training for the Olympics too much of a sacrifice?
I think it is a ridiculous question. These people make choices and this choice is to create a memory or experience that will last a lifetime.
When I look at these Olympians, my jaw drops in awe at the commitment and work ethic it takes to get there. I think we should celebrate their accomplishments and encourage people to follow their passions in life. If you love what you do, it is easy to spend time working hard at it. In fact, it may not feel like work when it is their passion.
The way I look at it, is these athletes have started the process of writing their own legacy. Being a strong advocate of creating, diarizing and sharing personal life legacies (www.MyLegacyOrganizer.com), I can’t think of a better way to spend your time. Add in the lessons of hard work, dedication, and motivation and I think you have a sure fire formula for future success.
A parent’s perspective
If my kids ever decided to compete at a really high level I am going to encourage them and help them follow their passions and create their life legacy. I want my kids to know that I support following their passions.
If my kids have the drive, passion, talent or ability to become great at anything, I will encourage them and be supportive in their endeavors. How proud would I be if my son’s competed in a future Olympics even if they came in fourth? That journey and experience is invaluable and is a life lesson that can be applied to all facets of life and I believe the experience will make him a better person.
If we relate this back to money (because that’s what I do for a living) . . . In my own life, I made big time sacrifices early and worked really hard to create the business. I saved money and made some fantastic financial choices (thanks to my profession). It is those sacrifices that give me choices and my current ability to work part time as a parent of four boys and afford a good lifestyle. I think encouraging people to work harder and become better is a good thing. I think we need to encourage people to find their passions in life. As a parent, these are things I want to encourage my four boys strive for. I want my boys to always try their best as opposed to have to be the best.
Monday, February 8, 2010
Brandon's poop story
So Saturday morning was the usual routine as Robbie had a soccer game and when we got back, I could tell Liz needed a little break as Brandon is really, really, really busy these days. Out of our 4 kids, he is the busiest of all. We never had to childproof for any of our other kids like we do for Brandon. He is curious and into everything.
So when I got home, Liz went upstairs to do whatever and mother does with 4 kids - clean, laundry, sleep, shower, poop, scream - whatever. Doesn't matter. I had the responsibility of watching Brandon and some of the other kids which is not a big deal because we do it everyday. Well, suffice it to say, I was distracted (which is normal in my house) and Brandon was quiet (which is abnormal in my house) so I immediately got suspicious and went looking for the little bugger.
I found him in the bathroom playing. He was playing dip the toilet paper in the toilet bowl of brothers pee and throwing it on the floor. Arghhhhhhh! I carried him upstairs (carefully) yelling at the other boys to stay away from the bathroom, give a lesson on how to flush after peeing and institute a new rule in the house . . . bathroom doors stay closed!!! This is the mild event.
Later that evening, Liz's parent came over to watch Brandon while we took the other three boys to the Golden Bears Hockey game. Liz was getting ready with Jason and Connor. I was downstairs with Brandon, Robbie and the grandparents. Count the adults . . . that's 3 adults with 2 children (But Robbie's easy so it's really only one child or should I say terror).
I'm talking to the grandparents when once again things are too quiet. Oh my **!@ , Brandon has done it again but this time in a different bathroom. This time Robbie took a poop and did not flush. Brandon decided to play dip the toilet paper again but this time he thought he would take the toilet bowl cleaner and stir it around and paint the walls with poopy water and mushed up toilet paper.
Up he went while I yelled at Robbie about flushing the toilet and keeping the bathroom door closed and I yelled at the other boys to stay away from me and the mess unless they wanted to eat poop. I ripped off Brandon's clothes and get him into the shower talking to him about how this in unacceptable behavior and the bathroom is off limits and how this is really disgusting and he will never find a woman to marry if he keeps this up and that he is destined to be alone for the rest of his life.
At that moment of relentless squawking (that's me squawking), he looked at me with his round eyes silently saying "Dadddeeeeeee" It wasn't the words that said the message, it was the look that said "What's wrong dad? Do you need a hug? I love you!" And he gave me a hug in the shower.
I know this poop story has been experienced by many. Kids are kids - frustrating, a lot of work at times but yet so innocent, loving and perfect. I love you too Brandon!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
